If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut.

“So, a woman went crazy in Canada with a sword and cut a whole bunch of people,” I say.  “Didn’t kill anyone, that how I knew it wasn’t you.”

“What kind of sword was used?” asks Ninja Vicki.

“Samurai sword,” I say. “Swung it at her boyfriend and a whole bunch of gas station patrons.”

“Oh, okay, that’s not her then,” says Ninja Vicki. “She doesn’t have a boyfriend… and she doesn’t live in Canada.”

“Who doesn’t have a boyfriend or live in Canada?” I ask.

“My old nemesis Samurai Cathy,” says Ninja Vicki. “Ninja and samurai are natural enemies, and ninja and samurai who go to high school together are even naturaler enemies.”

“One has a code of honor, the other sneaks up on people in the night and slits their throats,” I say. “Yeah, I could see how that could cause some friction.”

“We always got in fights for the brief time we were in high school together,” says Ninja Vicki. “She could hear a pin drop in a crowded cafeteria, which is where I usually tried to kill her. Then she’d chase me away and challenge me to a duel on the roof or the gym or some beach in the moonlight. And I’m like ‘Hell No’ because ninjas don’t duel, dumbass.”

“So do you keep in touch with her?” I say.

“I keep tabs on her occasionally,” says Ninja Vicki. “And she knows it, and that pisses me off because I can’t stand it when people know I’m stalking them.  God damn samurai.  God damn Samurai Cathy.”

Wow, I’ve never seen Ninja Vicki so pissed off about someone who wasn’t her parents.  We might just have to invite Samurai Cathy to visit our town just to see if an epic swordfight breaks out.  What do you think?

-rf

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