A date out of spite is still a date

Mikka has a date tonight.

Yes, you read that right. Mikka has a date tonight, and he’s meeting her at our local bar, The Bass-to-Bass. He’s wearing his finest Finnish blue sweater and turtleneck for this occasion, as well as a purple lotus pinned to his chest.

“So, how did you meet?” I ask.

“Online,” says Mikka. “I finally found a dating site that would let me in, called e-Desperation.”

Mikka was one of the many people who wasn’t allowed on e-Harmony. In fact, that creepy old guy from those e-Harmony commercials actually came to Mikka’s apartment to directly apologize to him. Mikka was also not allowed on Match.com, Perfect-match.com… even Craigslist’s personals section had no place for him.

“So, what’s she like?” asks Ninja Vicki.

“Well, like a lot of people on e-Desperation, she didn’t have her picture posted,” says Mikka. “But she says she’s got fiery hair, she’s very spiritual, isn’t on anti-depressants, and she’s really into Kurosawa movies.”

“Kurosawa…” Ninja Vicki says, pondering something.

“So what made you decide to meet her here?” I ask.

“Actually, she asked me if we could meet in a place that I liked,” says Mikka. “A place where my friends would be.”

“That’s rather odd…” says Ninja Vicki, even more suspicious.

“So when will we know if she’s here?” I ask.

“She’s showing up with a matching purple lotus in her hair,” says Mikka.

“Lotus… hmmm… why that and not something more common, like a rose?” says Ninja Vicki.

“Well, I’m proud of you, Mikka,” I say. “It’s about time someone here went on a date, or at least did something nominally social in their lives. Things were getting a bit stagnant lately.”

“Thanks,” says Mikka. “I’m sure you’ll all like her. We’re going to have a drink or two here, and then we’re going to a kendo demonstration down in Chin-Fin Town.”

“Kendo… MOTHER-COCK-FUCKER!” Ninja Vicki roars, slamming her fist on the bar.

Just then, as if on cue, Samurai Cathy comes walking into the bar with a purple lotus in her hair.

This is going to get ugly…

To be continued…

-rf

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