Pseudonymous Liz

As mentioned before, Anonymous Doug has an older sister. And though we haven’t mentioned her name, she is indeed not anonymous. She’s pseudonymous. Pseudonymous Liz.

Of course, Liz isn’t her real name. Otherwise she wouldn’t be Pseudonymous Liz. Truth is, no one’s quite sure what her real name is. Not even Anonymous Doug, who I’ve seen call her Bethany, Tricia, and Erica. Her mom called her a different name every time she saw her. Pseudonymous Liz doesn’t even know what her real name is either, but that doesn’t seem to bother her.

You might be asking “Hey, just check her driver’s license or her birth certificate” Well, that’s where her pseudonymous powers come into play. The name on the license changes depending on who looks at it. To Mikka, the license or certificate might say Lisa. To Ninja Vicki, it could say Carmella. But whatever shows up is not her real name.

Now say there’s a group of people standing around Pseudonymous Liz chatting with her. You’d think that things would get confusing with everyone calling her a different name. But you’d be forgetting her pseudonymous powers, and you really shouldn’t because we just discussed them in the paragraph above. See, when someone says what they think her name is, everyone goes along with it, regardless of what they thought her name was. And then when someone new joins the conversation and contributes a new name, that’s what everyone will call her until that person leaves. Then it reverts to what she was called before without skipping a beat.

And if you have sex with Pseudonymous Liz, it’s all right to call another girl’s name out in the throes of passion. In fact, it’s expected.

Anonymous Doug and Pseudonymous Liz… siblings in a family that’s obviously got some twisted DNA.

Please to meet you humor-blogs.com… hope you guess my name…

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