Zero to Awkward in Three Seconds

It’s last call, and as the lights come up in the bar, I get the stupid notion to try to be profound.

“You know, I think if they sung the Carmina Burana in English, it wouldn’t be as cool,” I say.

“I think Melanie makes me do her in the ass just so she doesn’t have to look at me while we fuck,” says Anonymous Doug.

*blink* *blink*

“Who is Melanie?” I ask.

“I don’t even think she knows who she truly is,” says Anonymous Doug.

“Well, whoever she is, she’s shallow and likes anal,” I say.

“And she cries when she comes too,” says Anonymous Doug. “They ain’t happy tears either. It’s like a family member died or something. No idea what that’s about.”

*blink* *blink*

Well, this evening has taken a turn for the… well, I’m not sure what to call it but it scares me.

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