Better Know a Renal Player: Lt. Vic Easel and Doctor Fireman

November 14, 2008

We’re hitting up some characters that haven’t been around in a while…

Lt. Vic Easel is our local Army recruiter who is always stressed out about making his quota, for if he doesn’t he’ll probably get shipped off to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan. So he tries some different tactics to meet his goal, like trying to recruit the autistic,white supremacists, or even the dead.

I also chat up the good Lieutenant about the Army’s marketing efforts and innovations in military technology, like a giant robotic bear that carries wounded soldiers off the battlefield.

Doctor Fireman, on the other hand, is not in the military. He’s my general practitioner who I don’t see nearly as often as I should. He has treated me for Fruity Stigmata, removed a breasticle in a dream of mine, enlightened me on Restless Crotch Syndrome, and cured me of a bad case of Johnny Reb during Confederate Heritage Month.

He’s also easily to trick into giving me anti-psychotic medication, and he also keeps a close eye on my Molesterol levels so that I don’t run afoul of the law.