Close out the Twelve, Welcome the ThirteenDecember 30, 2012
2012 has been a good year for the Renal Failure crew in a broad sense. Nothing spectacular, but compared to previous years the Twelve was a marked improvement over such years as 2010 and 2011. And 2012 was a certainly better year than 2004 and 2005, but if those years hadn’t been so horrid it’s unlikely this blog would have been started at the tail end of ’05.
Mikka finally earned a full-time position at the General Tso’s Sauce Factory after temping there for most of this year. The steady income and benefits, however, will not make it more likely that we’ll see a wedding between him and his long-time beau Samurai Cathy. This isn’t from any fear of commitment, but rather Mikka’s inability to become a talented swordsman who could avenge Samurai Cathy’s death – a death most likely at the hands of Ninja Vicki, who is the most qualified person around to fell Samurai Cathy in combat. So in essence, Mikka has to become a better swordsman than his current girlfriend, seeing how Vicki would be better than Cathy if Vicki indeed did best Cathy in a duel. And you thought your relationships had a lot of baggage and obstacles to overcome. Fear of intimacy has nothing over not being able to properly wield a blade so that you can bring justice to the person who killed your love.
Ninja Vicki had a successful year in the world of ninja-neering, but as usual didn’t fare well in the world of dating. To be fair, ninjas have a lot of difficult dating. It’s not like there are website where ninjas can find other ninjas to date. Ninjas don’t date other ninjas because other ninjas are competition who must be eliminated. The problem is that non-ninjas just aren’t bad-ass enough for ninjas to date. “Oh, you sell insurance? I lurk in the shadows and assassinate the shogun.” It’s a disconnect that Ninja Vicki cannot overcome in her life as a ninja, but she’s at peace with that fact 6 out of 7 days of the week.
Tina the Lesbian liked the gains made by the gay community in 2012 and hopes that when gay marriage is legalized in her state that she has someone ready to go so she can be one of the first to be gay married. And she wants to emphasize the “gay” in “gay marriage” because as of now “gay marriage” doesn’t have the baggage that straight marriage currently carries. All the pressures from family and society are absent from gay marriage. Eventually that will change, but for now Tina would like to enjoy the pristine conditions of gay marriage – like an explorer finding a natural wonder never before touched by humanity’s destructive hand.
Avonia, Bernie, and Doug… they did all right for themselves in 2012. And Tag Larkin always as an awesome year, because he is Tag Larkin.
Hope your 2013 is a marked improvement over 2012, even if 2012 was pretty good because, hey, it’s always good when better gets better.