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Epilogue 2014 – Avonia the Wiccan Pimp

December 25, 2013

Avonia the Wiccan Pimp originally went into pimping to keep the Wiccan store that she and her husband Arawn ran afloat.  What we didn’t know was that the store had actually become profitable over the past couple years.  So now instead of living off the money made pimping, they were saving it.

Now financially secure, Avonia and Arawn finally decided it was finally time to start a family.  There were a few roadblocks… childbearing was out because Avonia’s parts were all messed up (it was something more medically sounding but I was really drunk when she told me), and no adoption agency would let Avonia adopt from them because they don’t give children to pimps.  So Avonia got one of her prostitutes to get pregnant and give her custody of the child.

A healthy daughter named Morrigan was soon born into the world.  The prostitute couldn’t remember who the father was, or what he looked like, but she had a strange feeling his name was “something-Doug.”

So by day Arawn runs the store and Avonia stays home with Morrigan.  At night, Arawn cares for Morrigan and Avonia goes out pimping.  It’s a pretty good system they’ve got going.  Word is they might try to get Morrigan a sister or brother next year.

They ended up moving a few towns over to a better school district and nicer neighborhood, so we don’t see much of them anymore.  But Wic-Mart still operates, and Avonia still plays the pimp game harder than anyone else because she’s stacking mad paper for Morrigan’s college fund.

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One comment

  1. They didn’t move into the Wheatley’s old place, did they?



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