Back to the grind… and what did we find?

We’re back on the clock here at Renal Failure, and it turns out while we were on break we won another caption contest, this time over at MadMadMargo’s pad The Screaming Me-Me!

We like shiny objects…

Combined with Renal Failure’s clinching of first place in the Humor Bloggers Fantasy Football League (over such illuminaries as UnfinishedRambler, LOBO from PredatorPress, Canucklehead, and Chris C. from Angry Seafood), we’re hoping these are good omens that this decade will end on a high note for us.

And now… we now rejoin the Failure already in progress…

Precious Encouragements – December 2007

“It never stops hurting, it just doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to.”

“You may have Seasonal Affection Disorder… or you may have just been way too happy this Summer.”

“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.” -H. L. Mencken

“People can be honest and sincere… and also be completely fucking stupid at the same time. Honestly and sincerely fucking stupid.”

“If you can get through January unscathed, chances are you’ll have a good year.”

These were your Precious Encouragements of December 2007.

Turn Back the Renal Clock – December 2007: Part Five

The aftermath of Mikka and Samurai Cathy’s date… you’ll stand up and cheer for the geeky Finnish guy.

Samurai Cathy and I have a conversation.

Glow in the dark cats.  I has them.

Women can’t be President once they hit 60.  They have to go to Carrousel.

humor-blogs.com – fuelmyblog.com – alltop-humor – cre8buzz – blogcatalog

Turn Back the Renal Clock – December 2007: Part Four

Along with our blog turning two years old, late December 2007 was when we had our classic five part saga of Mikka and Samurai Cathy going on their first date… and the madness it inflicted on Ninja Vicki.  So spend your Black Friday with a tale of intrigue, swords, boobs, and Peter Cetera.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five

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Turn Back the Renal Clock – December 2007: Part Three

Happy Thanksgiving.  We’re off getting drunk.  Read these instead…

Did you know atheists aren’t free?  No, you still don’t know that because it’s bullshit.

Did you know there’s a Word of the Year?  Did you know it’s stupid too?

Christmas is a time for misunderstandings.  If you’re lucky no blood will be shed because them.

There almost wasn’t a Christmas in Basra, but then we sent some mercenaries to stomp the shit out of Grinch.

Christmas is also a time for salty language.

humor-blogs.com – fuelmyblog.com – alltop-humor – cre8buzz – blogcatalog

Turn Back the Renal Clock – December 2007: Part Two

Howl, moon goddess, howl
The road’s your slave, the night’s your home
Howl, moon goddess, howl
Death incarnate in steel and chrome
—”Moon Goddess” by Feather Healer off their unreleased album She-Wolf

Samurai Cathy is first mentioned by Ninja Vicki in a story about a crazy woman in Canada hacking people with a samurai sword.

Some video games are more fun than others.  Way more fun.

The Catholic Church put out a coloring book teaching kids how not get molested.  What color will you make Father Pockets’ priestly smock?

The first appearance of Samurai Cathy… getting up in Ninja Vicki’s face about a high school reunion.

humor-blogs.com – fuelmyblog.com – alltop-humor – cre8buzz – blogcatalog

Turn Back the Renal Clock – December 2007: Part One

Biker Maidens on wings of steel
Leather valkyries with souls to steal
Lords of night are winter’s keepers
Bathed in light unseen by sleepers
SHE WOLF RIDES!
— Feather Healer, the title track off their new album “She Wolf”

And now, back to the Renal Failure posts of December 2007…

Bulimic girls are jealous of the girls with food poisoning.  The dry heaving really tones the abs.

Enemy of the ninja: the common cold.  Ever sneeze in your own mask?

Sherri Shepherd of The View is still the dumbest person in America.

Trent Lott resigns from the US Senate, leaving the Pimp Minister Minority Whip to go seek greener pastures as a lobbyist or as someone running up in your house and stealing your expensive electronics.

humor-blogs.com – fuelmyblog.com – alltop-humor – cre8buzz – blogcatalog

Turn Back the Renal Clock – November 2007

We’re ducking out for a spell here on the week of Thanksgiving in the States, so here’s some of our old stuff that you may have missed or forgotten about.  Therefore it’s new to you!

In years past we usually take all of November off to participate in National Novel Writing Month (we haven’t done it the last two years, because I’m not starting a new novel until my lazy underachieving ass finishes writing the old ones).  But we did squeeze in a few posts when the situation warranted them.

There was the time we thought we were going to be blamed for Norman Mailer’s death…

Then there was the time that dumb girl at the party told me not to sit in the Cheetos…

And then we took up the cause of supporting Huey Lewis and the News against non-believers who were blind to his awesomeness.

Ah… good times.  Except for the Cheetos bitch.

humor-blogs.com – fuelmyblog.com – alltop-humor – cre8buzz – blogcatalog

More Like Hockey Jersey Friday

Last Friday of the month again.  Couldn’t find an interesting t-shirt for October, but I do have a pretty big hockey jersey collection…

If you remember the Paul Newman movie Slap Shot you’ll know this is the jersey of his team Charlestown Chiefs.

So if I get invited to an impromptu costume party this weekend, all I’ll need is a pair of thick black glasses and I can go as one of the Hanson Brothers.

humor-blogs.com – fuelmyblog.com – alltop-humor – cre8buzz – blogcatalog

Sunday Meta 10/11/09

We’ve been winning a lot of stuff lately.  Case in point, we got this from I Probably Don’t Like You, a fellow member of the HumorBloggers.com family.  His name makes us question his motives…

Apparently Mr. Doesn’tLikeYou enjoyed our recent post about winning a caption award from EttaRose’s site.  We would have preferred it if we won for our soul-rousing haikus, but we’ll take what we can get when it comes to awards that come with nice graphics to show off.

The Super Scribbler Award, however, comes with a few strings…

• Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
• Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
• Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
• Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
• Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

What they don’t know is that Renal Failure is the home of Tag Larkin, and Tag Larkin plays by his own rules.  So if you think you deserve the Super Scribbler Award, say so in the comments to this post.  First five to do so win the award from us.