“If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house. “Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!” “—Mitch Hedberg
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. We built a house in your heart, and then the bank foreclosed on it after the love factory closed and we all got laid off. Then we did a bunch of stuff for food money that we’re not proud of. That’s what the crying is all about.
“The answer is of course, that it would be best to be both loved and feared. But since the two rarely come together, anyone compelled to choose will find greater security in being feared than in being loved.” —Machiavelli
“It is better to be Tag Larkin than to not be Tag Larkin.” —Tag Larkin
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. If one must choose between being precious and being encouraged, anyone will find greater security in – LOOK, A MOO COW!
“It’s not an accident if you enjoy it.”
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. A lot of smack is talked about accidents, but if it wasn’t for accidents a lot of us wouldn’t be here. So how about we step off of accidents just a smidge, okay?
“A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman.” —Wallace Stevens
“What? You mean with a raging erection?” —Anonymous Doug
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. Cramming meaning into places where it really doesn’t belong but we saw it in this movie once so… yeah…
“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. ” —Dick Cavett
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. We don’t make any money off this and probably never will, so you know it’s gotta be good, right?
“Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.” —Maya Angelou
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. We’re the Tempur-Pedic mattress for your soul, except we’re a lot cheaper, don’t have a 20-year warranty, and you can’t have sex on top of us.
“If you want to find out what a writer or a cartoonist really feels, look at his work. That’s enough.” —Shel Silverstein
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. We could just tell you straight up how we feel, but we’d rather make you work for it. It’s more fulfilling and worthwhile that way, don’t you think?
“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.” —Richard P. Feynman
“I pity the fool.” —Mr. T
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. If we’re fooling you, then you’re not fooling yourself. And that means you’re ahead of the game.
“You cannot petition the Lord with prayer.” —Jim Morrison
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. You can petition us all you want. It’s not like we can grant your wishes anyway but at least we’re up front about it.
“I don’t know why I started writing. I don’t know why anybody does it. Maybe they’re bored, or failures at something else.”—Cormac McCarthy
This has been your Precious Encouragement of the Week. Giving you the sort of personal boost that only bored failures can give.
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