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Meow Kampf

July 20, 2006

“Bernie, did the Feline Revolution start and you didn’t tell me?” I asked to my half-cyborg cat friend.

“Why do you ask?” says Bernie.

“Because there’s a whole bunch of Cats That Look Like Hitler on the Internet these days and I was wondering if that was a cue that the feline conquest of humanity was close at hand,” I say.

“Did you really think the prelude to our glorious rise to dominance on this planet would be a bunch of cats who look like a dorky human?” says Bernie.

“You’ve got a point there,” I say. “So what is the prelude to the Planet of the Cats then?”

“All I can say is…a soft nuzzle by your ankle, a quiet meow, and then BAM! Nuclear cat-induced holocaust!” says Bernie. “Humanity will never see it coming.”

“Hitler Cats sounds cooler,” I say. “And it would look better in the history books if it said “In 2074, the human race was enslaved by Cat Hitler and his Cat Nazi armies.”

“We can do Cat Stalin, and that’s it,” says Bernie.

“But I still get the Iron Cross for my help in sending the human race to oblivion, right?” I say.

“Sure!” says Bernie. “Cat Stalin says medals for everyone!”

Hooray! Then we made a Cat Stalin statue out of mashed potatoes and marched around it.

One comment

  1. Good times… good times, though I’m worried about the Hamster Castro…



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