Coming out of a transparent closet

July 26, 2006

“Lance Bass got the Gay,” says Anonymous Doug. It’s Intravenous Margarita Night at the Bass-to-Bass and me, Doug, Tina the Lesbian, and Mikka are halfway through our second bags.

“It’s not a disease,” Tina the Lesbian says. “You can’t catch gay.”

“I don’t know about that,” says Mikka. “If you hang around a group of people long enough you start picking up their tendencies.”

“So you’re saying if I hung around all those old Italians down at the bocce courts all that time that I’ll become Italian?” says Tina.

“Hey, if you want to catch the Wop from Count Joey’s crew, be my guest,” says Anonymous Doug. “Me, I’m going to keep my heritage, whatever it might be.”

“So…Lance Bass is gay,” says Mikka, awkwardly getting the conversation back to its beginning point and away from anymore slurs. “Who saw that coming?”

“Has there ever been a time when someone has come out and said they were gay and it’s been a surprise?” I say. “I mean, even when Tina told me she was gay I was like ‘Well, that makes perfect sense. In fact, that’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard all day.'”

“Little Richard being gay still throws me for a loop,” says Mikka.

*blink* *blink*

“I would slap you but I don’t think you’d learn anything from it,” says Tina.

“You’d need to slug him in the cock for that,” I say. “That’s how his parents got him to stop pissing in the sink.”

Mikka’s only solace was that Tina wasn’t wearing her rings tonight.

One comment

  1. intravenous margarita night? why wasn’t I invitred?

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