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My initials don’t have cancer

May 14, 2007

“So what did you get your mom for Mother’s Day?” I ask Mikka.

“I got her a mammogram teddy bear,” says Mikka.

“A what?” I say.

“A mammogram teddy bear,” says Mikka.  “It’s for when she goes in to get her breasts checked for cancer.  It’s supposed to be comforting or something.”

I give myself a minute to think about this, because vocabulary isn’t Mikka’s strength.

“Mikka, does this teddy bear have your mom’s initials sewn into it?” I ask.

“Yeah, it does,” says Mikka.

“Monogrammed,” I say.  “You got your mom a monogrammed teddy bear.  Not mammogram.”

“Well, she can still bring it to her breast exam, right?” says Mikka.   “So it’s a monogrammed mammogram teddy bear then.”

At least this is better than last week when he thought his sister Riikka was going to get a Pabst Blue Ribbon when she was really going out for a pap smear.  Never before has the phrase “Get me one too” caused such a horrified reaction.

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