Tag vs. TaggJune 12, 2007
Tag Larkin found out that one Mitt Romney’s sons, who works for his campaign, is named Tagg Romney. And Tag Larkin cannot let this stand because he says there can be only one Tag, regardless of how many G’s are in it.
Tagg Romney is a Red Sox fan. Tag Larkin didn’t even watch baseball, but now he has to be a Yankees fan just to spite Tagg Romney. And Tag Larkin does not like going this far out of his way to spite anyone.
Tagg Romney has four younger brothers. Tag Larkin has an older sister. In Tag Larkin’s mind, four younger brothers beats one older sister. When we try to ask him for the math on that, he just throws a chair at us.
Tagg Romney gets to go on TV shows and radio programs for interviews about his dad’s campaign. Tag Larkin is banned from calling in to any local radio station or TV show in town because of his propensity for verbal abuse. And seeing Tagg Romney being allowed on TV and radio burns Tag Larkin up inside.
Tagg Romney has a Myspace page. Tag Larkin isn’t allowed on Myspace due to an incident involving a bulletin about what endangered animal species would you like to have sex with. Tag Larkin thinks Tagg Romney had a hand in his banishment, mainly because Romney was jealous of all the Myspace friends Tag Larkin had.
We’re very glad Tag Larkin was named Tag and not something more common like John or William, or else he’d have more enemies than he could possibly fight at once time.