Maybe they should call it Vancooter

October 18, 2007

Avonia the Wiccan Pimp is making plans to go to Vancouver for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Not to watch the games though. She found out that the sex workers there are banding together to form “a cooperative brothel.

“Did you know prostitution’s legal in Canada?” Avonia says to me as we patrol the street corner. “It’s just that everything else involved with prostitution is illegal so that prostitution is impossible to do without breaking some other law.”

“Those wily Canucks, with their clever laws and bilingual signs, ” I say. “But why are you interested in a cooperative brothel?”

“Because it won’t work without a pimp,” says Avonia. “Someone has to provide protection and enforcement. Who’s going to do it? The mounties?”

“Maybe Canadian hookers are like the ones in Sin City, where they run the show and do their own enforcement,” I say.

“Yeah, a movie based on a comic book is an accurate depiction of the way prostitution works,” Avonia sarcastically says.

“This is Canada we’re talking about,” I say. “They’ve gotten socialized medicine to work, maybe they can get socialized prostitution to work.”

“You can’t socialize prostitution on a large scale,” says Avonia. “Especially not for a huge international event like the Olympics. Too much money at stake, and too many outsiders who don’t share the Canadians penchant for politeness. People get greedy and nasty and it ends up like the Tragedy of the Commons, except with hookers.”

Too many times have the words “Tragedy” and “hookers” been used in the same sentence.

“So you’re going up there to make sure these women get paid and that no one jacks them,” I say.

“The Goddess works in strange ways to protect her daughters,” says Avonia.

Avonia the Wiccan Pimp has a point. Ever since she started pimping, hooker murders have practically been nil in town. Something about the threat of evil spells has the local whoreslayers spooked. Well, that and Mercury Shadow and Crimson Paraplegic being on patrol and setting up a network of hookers as their eyes and ears on the street helps too. But who would have thought witchcraft would also be an effective deterrent to killing hookers?

Humor-blogs.com, you’ll be a woman soon…


  1. […] came across this post – Maybe they should call it Vancooter – and thought it was worth sharing. I hope you find it interesting too and take the time to read […]

  2. […] came across this post – Maybe they should call it Vancooter – and thought it was worth sharing. I hope you find it interesting too and take the time to read […]

  3. You know, when my wife and I were watching that movie and the bit with the part of the city that was run by hookers came on, I turned to my wife and said, “Yeah, like THAT would work.”

    Because, you know, everything else in that movie was totally realistic.

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