A date out of spite is still a date: Part 3

December 19, 2007

Confusion abound, as Ninja Vicki has now declared that she is now dating Mikka, much to Mikka’s suprise, and Samurai Cathy’s as well.

“We’re going to dinner and a movie,” Ninja Vicki says to Mikka. “And then we’ll catch some coffee down at that new cafe, Beanal Failure. It’ll be fun. We’ll have a great time. Let’s go.”

“Oh, no no no,” says Mikka, pulling his arm away from Ninja Vicki’s grasp. “I’ve been in this whole fake boyfriend/girlfriend game before. Sorry, but I’m going out with Samurai Cathy. There’s a chance that she’ll actually let me touch her.”

“He’s right, and I might even let him see my breasts too,” Samurai Cathy says, playfully pulling on the open part of her samurai robe.

“See?” says Mikka. “That is an offer I cannot refuse. You know how long it’s been since I saw a woman’s breasts in person?”

“Two weeks ago at Bathsheba’s Gentlemen’s Club,” says Ninja Vicki.

“Okay… but this time I’ll actually be allowed to touch these breasts,” Mikka says. “Right?”

“If you play your cards right, sure,” says Samurai Cathy.

“Stop encouraging him!” Ninja Vicki yells. “You’re just leading him on, and who’s going to be left holding the broken sobbing pieces of Mikka after you’re done with him?”

“The guy hiding under the table, probably,” says Samurai Cathy, pointing at me.

“Plesae leave me out of this,” I say.

“See? She’s going to break your heart,” says Ninja Vicki.

“As opposed to you breaking my arm when I do that move where I yawn and then put my arm around you,” Mikka says. “No thanks. I’ll take my chances with Cathy.

Mikka walked away from the bar and joined his date at the door, leaving Ninja Vicki dumbfounded and pissed off. “Come on, Cathy. Let’s get some drinks somewhere else. I don’t much care for the atmosphere here.”

“Fine with me,” Cathy replied, then she pointed at Ninja Vicki. “And don’t bother stalking us, because I’ll know if you are, and then I’ll just get more friendly with Mikka.”

“So please do that,” Mikka says as they turn to leave the bar.

“Have a nice night, Victoria,” Samurai Cathy says as they go out the door.

I poke my head from the table. “Is it safe?”

Ninja Vicki says nothing as she meanders over to the digital jukebox on the wall and begins feeding it dollar bills. With nine dollars’ worth of credits, she makes her selections and goes back to sit down at the bar. The familiar intro to “Glory of Love” begins to play over the speakers.

“If anyone tries to skip over anything I’ve put on, I will kick their head clean off their shoulders,” Ninja Vicki announces to the patrons of the bar as she huddles over her drink. “I guaran-god damn-tee it.”

We’re in for a lot of Peter Cetera tonight.

To be continued…


If you like pina coladas… and getting caught in the rain… if you’re not into yoga… and you have humor-blogs.com


  1. I’m really enjoying this … keep it coming. :)

  2. what the hell’s going on over at humour blogs?

    is there a conspiracy?

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