Can we add “Outrageous Claims” to our header?

January 9, 2008

Little known internet fact: Bernie the Half-Cyborg cat invented the phrase “I can has cheezburger.”

We had just spent the evening competing in a “Drink every type of alcohol” contest at a local bar (a little tip, do scotch first and beer last), and somehow we found our way to a diner at 6am.

“So what can I get you?” the waitress asks us.

“Man, I could go for a cheeseburger…” I says, very drunk.

“Me too…” says Bernie, really drunk. I’m not sure how he hasn’t passed out yet. I thought that saucer of Yukon Jack was going to put him down.

“But it’s 6am, and they’re probably on their breakfast menu,” I say.

“No, you can get a cheeseburger,” says the waitress.

And Bernie’s ears perked up.

“Wait, wait, wait,” says Bernie, his head drifting around trying to stay upright. “So you’re saying… I can has cheeseburger?”

“Yes you can,” says the waitress.

“I can has cheeseburger?” Bernie says again, not really believing it.


“Dude, I can has cheeseburger!” Bernie happily says.

“We’ll take two,” I tell the waitress.

He went on to repeat that phrase for a full eight minutes straight before falling asleep before the cheeseburger came to the table. Bernie assumes someone overheard his drunk kitty ass rambling and the rest is Internet fad history.

Bernie also has a story about how he got Tay Zonday to change the name of his song from “Ebony Drizzle” to “Chocolate Rain,” but I think he’s bullshitting us with that one.


humor.blogs.com goes into the cage… cage goes into the water…


  1. I think I once heard him mutter something about all my base are belong to him too.

  2. “do scotch first and beer last”
    -heh heh, mmm-hmmm

  3. Damn, I thought it was the bourbon THEN the scotch and THEN the beer…no wonder I always feel bad the next morning. :p

    Oh and I love “I can has cheezburger”. Funny stuff.

  4. Indeed, liquor before beer–never fear. Even the drunken cyborg lolcat or whatever the fuck it was you went out drinking with could have told you that.

  5. He didn’t want to tell me that, because he wanted to win the contest. Cats are treacherous, yet so adorable.

  6. Drunken Kitty ramblings must be the source of most new phrases.

  7. i nominate Chocolate rain as the #1 most likely song to get stuck in a person’s head

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