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So how is this different than any other Monday?

January 23, 2008

“Did you know that this past Monday was the most depressing day of the year?” says Bernie the half-cyborg cat.

“How could it be the most depressing day of the year?” I say. “It was MLK Day. It was a federal holiday. I didn’t have to work.”

“You don’t work anyway,” says Bernie.

“Yeah, but I didn’t have to feel bad about not working that day,” I say. “So how was Monday supposed to be the most depressing day of the year?”

“Some asshole psychologist in Britain came up with some dumb useless formula that says the Monday of the last full week in January is the most depressing day of the year,” says Bernie. “It’s after Christmas, you’re in debt from Christmas, you’ve probably already failed in your New Year’s Resolution, and it’s winter.”

“Yeah, well it was all of those things on Tuesday as well,” I say. “I was real depressed on Tuesday for some reason.”

“Yeah, but people hate Mondays more,” says Bernie.

“Why can’t I hate last Monday more than this past Monday?” I say. “Or next Monday?”

“Isn’t next Monday your birthday?” says Bernie. “And isn’t next Monday the anniversary of the Space Shuttle Challenger blowing up?”

“Yes, so I have two reasons to be more depressed than usual,” I say. “Marking another year as a lying failure and the cold reminder of seven dead astronauts.”

“Well, at least that British guy found out there is a happiest day of the year,” says Bernie.

“Is it somewhere in February?” I say. “I could really use a boost soon.”

“No, June 23rd is the happiest day of the year,” says Bernie.

“Bullshit,” I say. “That’s summer time. I can’t stand summer. I’m miserable in the heat and people stop wearing shoes.”

My life transcends some British guy’s stupid psychological equations.

-rf

Humor-blogs.com wishes it were a Sunday… because that’s my fun day…

5 comments

  1. Ah yes, Rickey missed you dear cyborg cat.


  2. The most depressing day of the year is any day spent in Britain doing statistical research.


  3. I’m depressed every day of the year.

    Poke


  4. I quite enjoyed that Monday I think…


  5. you can’t be depressed today, you’re # 2 on humour blogs!!!!

    well deserved indeed



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