Sisters don’t share everything

February 15, 2008

Valentine’s Day means that the local theater group puts on The Vagina Monologues, and Tina the Lesbian got a job working the lights for it.  And Tina’s sister Jennifer the Straight came into town to check out her sister’s skill at bringing the lights up and down.  Afterwards they met up with some of us over at the Bass to Bass.

“So you’re Jennifer the Straight,” I say.  Tina’s sis has glasses and short brown mom hair, easy to manage.  But she is not wearing mom jeans.

“Just Jennifer will do,” she answers.

“No, it won’t,” I say.  “We call your sister Tina the Lesbian, we have to call you Jennifer the Straight.”

“We are nothing if not consistent,” says Bernie the half-cyborg cat.

“Holy shit, that cat can talk!” Jennifer the Straight shrieks.

Obviously Tina the Lesbian hasn’t told her sister about us, or prepared her for our eccentricities.  This becomes even more apparent when Ninja Vicki shows up.  Apparently there is a dearth of masked women with swords in Jennifer’s neighborhood because she didn’t know that it’s not wise to frantically scream in front of a ninja.  That’s how people get stabbed.  Luckily, Tina was able to step in before Ninja Vicki went for her blade or her throwing stars.

And apparently Tina didn’t warn her heterosexual sister that I tend to bring up rather inappropriate topics of conversation in public.  Like vagina dentata.  Yeah… I don’t think she was ready for such a frank discussion about what she would do if she had shark teeth in her cooter.  But damn it, I have no time for squeamishness.  I’m here to ask the hard questions and to get to the issues that impact the world at large.    And today that issue just happened to be razor sharp teeth in the honey pot.


I’ve got me a car, it’s as big as a whale, and we’re heading on down to Humor-blogs.com


  1. all my conversations are inapproriate

  2. I wont watch the movie but I’m gonna guess ‘wicked city’… not a good movie to watch before a night on the pull. (Wondering if that turn of phrase will translate properly).

  3. Yeah, that didn’t translate at all. But “Teeth” was the best movie I’ve seen in the past year.

  4. it translated for me

  5. Teeth hey, shall have to check it out, I was thinking of ‘Wicked city’ (japanese anime), esspecially the scene where the demon lady sprouts chompers in her cha cha.

  6. Seen it. Teeth, that is. Ridiculous. I love the doctor.

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