Statistics show that she will kill you

February 22, 2008

A little known fact about Ninja Vicki, unless you remember her first ever appearance on Renal Failure, is that she is a college graduate.

“Got my degree in English from Katana Tech University in Sword Town,” Ninja Vicki says.

But that wasn’t the first institution of higher learning she attended.  And English wasn’t even her first choice of what to major in.

“I spent my first freshman semester at Chisholm College looking to major in Women’s Studies,” says Ninja Vicki.  “But that didn’t last long.”

You might think that a ninja would have problems learning sociology, being all secretive and stealthy and stuff.  But no, that wasn’t the issue.

“First women’s studies seminar… the professor tells the women in the class to look to the guy on our left and then the guy on the right,” says Ninja Vicki, “and then she says that statistics show that one of them will likely rape you.  So I looked at the men on either side of me, slit both their throats, and respectfully disagreed with the professor’s premise.”

Contrary to popular belief, women’s studies professors will not accept the blood of slain men as assignment credit.

“I think what got me kicked out of the program was my mid-term paper about gender expectations,” says Ninja Vicki.  “Here a tip: when asked about ways to defy the unfair expectations of the patriarchy, never answer ‘sneak into the patriarchy’s house, stab it in the heart, and burn his family alive.’  That’s not the answer they’re looking for.”

I suggested to Ninja Vicki that maybe she should write an “Equality Through Ninjitsu” or a “Ninja Feminism” self-help book, but she says she’s too busy with regular ninja stuff, like murdering for hire or stealing ancient scrolls from shaolin temples.


I am Humor-blogs.com, hear me roar…


  1. My marketing teacher said that to us… well apart from the rape part.

  2. I like this site. I always think if I stumbled onto my own site I’d be delighted to find it, and that’s how I feel about this site.


  3. renalfailure is anything but sweet :-)

    aren’t you sweetie?)

  4. I like to think I have a bold, robust flavor. Like a stout or porter.

  5. I like Ninja Vicki. She’s a woman after my own heart. (Hopefully not in the literal sense.)

  6. You can’t fool me. All these people are real!

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