Just don’t bring up Samurai Pizza Cats

March 5, 2008

Mikka and Samurai Cathy have made it past the two month mark in their relationship, and the time has come for Mikka to slowly integrate her into his circle of friends. She’s already met me and we get along fine.

After much deliberation, Mikka decided to have Samurai Cathy meet Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat first. The thinking behind this was that if Samurai Cathy could win over the strangest of our circle of friends, then she’d have no problem with our more normal friends like Tina the Lesbian and Avonia the Wiccan Pimp.

“So… you’re a samurai,” Bernie says as we sit at the bar of our favorite fishing themed pub, the Bass-to-Bass. Bernie is having his usual bowl of gin. “A masterless ronin, right?”

“It’s a hard market out there for samurai,” says Samurai Cathy, having a cup of sake. “But I get by.”

“And you’ve been fighting Ninja Vicki for the past 16 or so years, right?” says Bernie.

“Off and on, yes” says Samurai Cathy.

“So you and Vicki have pretty much evenly matched when it comes to fighting?” says Bernie.

“I like to think I have a small edge,” Samurai Cathy replies. “Just not enough of an edge to kill her.”

“Interesting,” says Bernie. “So then this is going to feel really good.”

Suddenly Bernie leaps on the bar and his laser cannon comes out of his hip and points at Samurai Cathy.

“Ha ha! I win!” says Bernie. “I could have blasted your head clean off before you could have laid a finger on your sword.”

“Damn it, Bernie,” says Mikka. “What the hell are you doing pointing your laser at my girlfriend, asshole?”

“It’s okay,” says Samurai Cathy. “I know why he did it. Like other warriors, cats like to establish who’s dominant.”

“That and he always wants to show how superior he is to humans,” I add.

“But if Bernie ever wants to meet on the field of battle, I would be happy to oblige,” says Samurai Cathy.

“Oh, I like her,” says Bernie. “This is a human whose dead body would be worth dragging back to show the wife.”

Samurai Cathy reaches into her robe and pulls out a small baggie of catnip. “A token of my respect.”

“Oooh, gimme gimme gimme,” says Bernie, reaching out with his little kitty paws.

“Wow, she’s good,” I say to Mikka.

“She knows her cats,” says Mikka.

So it appears Cathy has won over Bernie. Now the question is who does Samurai Cathy get introduced to next?  Anonymous Doug?  Marlie?  Tag Larkin?


I don’t want to work, I want to bang on Humor-blogs.com all day…


  1. how does one know if one has met anonymous doug?

  2. I was just going to say wouldn’t it be pointless introducing her to Anonymous Doug.

  3. I think Anonymous Doug sneezed on me during the Athens-Singapore leg of my flight. I heard an explosion and suddenly the letters in my crossword were leaking ink all over the page. This morning I woke up with a head cold.

    I totally blame Anonymous Doug

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