Polled by the Patriarchy

March 14, 2008

Tina the Lesbian had a unusual visitor at her front door today.

“Hi, would you like to participate in a short poll?” says Lance Patriarchy, the living embodiment of male dominance and oppression. Usually women can’t see him, they can only feel his oppressive nature. But for some reason lesbians can see him.

“About what?” says Tina the Lesbian, wary of conversing with Lance, for the patriarchy is crafty.

“The Democratic primary candidates for President,” says Lance Patriarchy. “Which one will you be voting for? Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton?”

“Obama,” answers Tina the Lesbian.

“Really?” says Lance Patriarchy, surprised.

“Yeah, really.”

Lance whistles then starts writing on his clipboard. “Okay…”

“What? What’s that all about?” asks Tina the Lesbian.

“Well, I had you pegged for Hillary,” says Lance Patriarchy.

“Why? Just because she’s a woman?” says Tina the Lesbian, slightly offended.

“Well, it is your gender’s best chance to put finally get one of your own into the most powerful position in the world,” says Lance Patriarchy.

“I just think Obama’s better than her,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“But how can you hope to defeat me if you won’t even vote for a woman candidate?” asks Lance Patriarchy.

“Because we’re waiting for a better one,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“Hmm… well, thank you for your time,” says Lance Patriarchy, looking a bit crestfallen.

“You sound almost upset about this,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“Well, usually I’d be happy about this,” says Lance Patriarchy. “But I was kind of looking forward to have a little verbal jousting with you. Then you had to go and pick my candidate.”

“So you’re saying I’m siding with the Patriarchy?” Tina the Lesbian says.

“Pretty much, yeah,” says Lance. “How does that make you feel?”

*blink* *blink* *blink*

“Shut the hell up,” says Tina the Lesbian. “You’re just trying to fuck with me.”

“Of course, I’m the Patriarchy,” says Lance. “But you do have to admit, it does sting a little knowing that you’re voting against the best chance for a female President ever.’

“Like I said, we’re just waiting for a better woman,” says Tina the Lesbian. “Unlike your camp that just throws any idiot up on the ballot.”

Lance gives Tina a smile and a wave. “Thanks for the tussle. See you later. I need to go make sure there’s still an unattainable standard of beauty for women to be pressured to strive for.”

Tina is going to stop answering her front door for a while.


What I need is a good defense… because I feel like Humor-blogs.com


  1. So is she going to just answer her back do? What will she find there a cat asking about the New York Governor and his hooky ways?
    Just a question.
    I like this blog thanks for writing it.

  2. don’t stop answering the door Tina. missy higgins just asked me for your address

  3. Oprah 2012 (or whenever)… it will happen. I just hope she doent choose Dr Phil as her running mate.

  4. I love it!

  5. […] Polled by the Patriarchy […]

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