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Did they ask to check your iTunes too?

April 23, 2008

Tina the Lesbian was looking into getting a job on the side for a few extra bucks, so she applied to the local small hip feminist lesbian book store in town, Sapphisticated Books. Where the gay erotica section is listed under just plain romance, and the hetero romance novels are listed under “straight erotica that perpetuate misogyny.”

Apparently they run a tough interview there, according to what Tina the Lesbian told me at the bar.

“Well, they were glad to hear that I was an honest-to-Lilith lesbian,” says Tina. “And that I liked reading.”

“And you like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly so you’ve cleared the Joss Whedon requirement for your feminist credentials,” I say.

“I almost slipped on the fem-cred because I don’t find Tina Fey that funny,” says Tina the Lesbian. “But I covered that up well by saying that I blame her for the success of Jimmy Fallon from their days on SNL’s Weekend Update.”

“Nice recovery,” I say.

“But then they asked me where my rectangular hipster glasses were,” Tina the Lesbian said. “And I said I didn’t have any because my eyes are 20/20. That’s when the interview went downhill.”

“You didn’t have enough hipster cred,” I say.

“Apparently not,” says Tina, disappointed.

“Did you ever think you had hipster cred?” I ask.

“I thought I had enough just to get in the door just by being a lesbian,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“Just like how me owning all the Dead Kennedys albums gives me enough punk cred to be in the background of the punk crowd,” I say. “I can stay at the party, as long as I keep quiet.”

“Yes, well, lesbianism just isn’t enough anymore for the hipster crowd,” says Tina.

“When did you ever want to be a hipster?” I say. “You’ve got an actual job with actual benefits, you own a house in the suburbs, and you actually buy your clothing firsthand.”

“It always feel good to belong,” Tina says.

And sometimes it feels good not to belong.

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2 comments

  1. If you’re a guy and you’re into chicks, how big can your penis be before you lose your lesbian cred?

    I’m asking for a friend.


  2. gully – i’m not a lesbian, but i did spend last night at a Holiday Inn Express. My recommendation: follow RF’s advice: “I can stay at the party, as long as I keep quiet.”

    so long as it remains invisible, you should be ok…



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