High Octane Beltane

May 1, 2008

Avonia the Wiccan Pimp’s coven has been looking to spruce up their yearly Beltane celebration. The dancing around the May pole, the celebrating the blooming of spring, and the spouse-swapping have been fun but they have been getting a bit stale the last couple sabbats.

So the coven decided to give a little extra emphasis to the namesake of Beltane, Belinos the Sun God. See, Beltane means “fire of Bel,” and the coven has noticed that they’ve been a little light on the fire part of their celebrations.

So they dipped into the incense fund and hired local pyrotechnician Don Fuego. He does our local Fourth of July fireworks, and he is a reformed arsonist thanks to the large amounts of pills he’s on.

As Avonia will attest, dancing around a May pole that has a 15-foot high column of fire coming out the top of it is awesome. Or at least it was until a few of the ribbons that they use to dance around the pole caught fire. But Don Fuego always carries an extinguisher with him, by court order.

Don Fuego is hard at work trying to convince Avonia the Wiccn Pimp and her coven that they will need fireworks for their Summer Solstice celebration in June. Whether he gets hired again is contingent on whether he accepts whores as payment.


One comment

  1. I’d like to see whores become the payment method for most financial transactions.

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