Not even McGraw-Hill? Come on!

May 16, 2008

Other blogs may have given up on the dream of getting a stupid-rich book deal after three weeks of doing nothing to advance their cause, but not us. We’re going to keep at our grand idea of Political Pundits Who Look Like Child Molesters because it’s only a matter of time before we succeed.

We’ve proven that the concept has legs, and that it takes skills to discern which pundits look like child molesters and which do not, but there is still something missing that we’ve been unable to put our finger on until now…

Reader interactivity.

So Renal Failure presents to you a little game… we’ll show you the picture of a political pundit and you have to guess whether they look like a child molester or not. Answers are at the end of this post… but no cheating you cheeky bastards!

First up… Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report…

Second up… National Review editor Jonah Goldberg…

And lastly… MSNBC’s Chris Matthews…

All right, pencils down. Let’s see how you did…

If you said Matt Drudge looks like a Child Molester… you’re right. Okay, that was an easy one.

If you said Jonah Goldberg looks like a Child Molester… your instinct serves you well because you are correct.

If you said Chris Matthews looks like a Child Molester… you would be wrong. He does not look like a child molester, he looks like a wifebeater. I look at him and my gut tells me that Chris Matthews’ rage is not directed toward the deflowering of children but toward the savage senseless beatings of his spouse.

Don’t worry if you didn’t get them all right. It takes years to develop the skill of picking out who looks like a child molester and who doesn’t. And that’s why I’m getting the book deal and you’re not.




  1. I’m going to have to disagree with you on Chris Matthews. He looks like he’d love to give some 12 year old baseball player a pep talk. With his peen.

  2. LMAO- Jonah Goldberg i was actually visualizing in a Scoutmaster’s uniform. Keep the Dream alive!!!!!

  3. Matt Drudge looks like he might have molested Chris Matthews as a child.

  4. See I think that last ones smile, was more of a ‘pet/sex slave, whats the difference’ type smile. But who am I to argue with the experts.

  5. Will you still love me when you’re a famous author?

    • But of course, dear nurse. But of course.

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