Wiccan Informant

May 29, 2008

Avonia the Wiccan Pimp’s coven had a meeting the other night to discuss preparations for the Summer Solstice celebration in June, and they had a new member in attendance.

“We’ve got a mole in our coven,” Avonia told me.

“Is she from a rival coven looking to sabotage your Litha ceremony?” I say.

“No, she’s from the government,” says Avonia. “The government’s been planting spies in groups with anti-war leanings for a while now. Apparently they finally got around to our coven.”

“So how do you know she’s a government mole?” I ask.

“Well, for starters she keeps whispering into her watch,” says Avonia. “And she keeps trying to make us talk into her the pin on her shirt. She’s not very good at this.”

“So have you let the mole know that you know she’s a mole?” I ask.

“No, we’re going to have some fun first,” says Avonia. “I figure the government’s been feeding us misinformation for years, it’s time we sent some back their way. So we told her we’ll be having a human sacrifice over at that crack house on Oaktree and Scuttlebug streets.”

“And what’s that going to do?” I ask.

“Well, it might just get some Homeland Security troops to finally bust up that awful place,” says Avonia. “Clean up the neighborhood a bit.”

Hmm… what do you know? Invasive and intrusive government infiltration may actually do some good for the first time ever.


One comment

  1. I’m sending this to the government your displeasure at intrusive government infiltration should interest them greatly…

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