Just Another Lonely Friday

July 11, 2008

I was supposed to be hanging with the fliest peckerwood to ever walk the Senate floor Trent Lott, but he’s still mourning the death of his Senate running buddy/southern racist Jesse Helms from last week, so he’s unavailable.

So I call Mikka up to go hang out down at the Bass to Bass, but Samurai Cathy just came back to town after her meditation sabbatical stemming from their double date with Tag Larkin two weeks ago.  So it’s been awhile since Mikka’s gotten some nookie.

I go across the street to see if Bernie the Half Cyborg Cat is around, but apparently he and Marlie are having one of their kinky role-playing nights.  I find this out when Bernie answers the door dressed as David Beckham and Marlie walks by as a sexy referee in hot pants.

Even Tina the Lesbian is busy tonight, catching the Sex and the City movie down at the metroplex with some of her softball friends.  She asked if I would like to go, but declined because I don’t buy Sarah Jessica Parker as a romantic lead, or as someone Chris Noth would actually bang.

Avonia the Wiccan Pimp’s working the streets.  Mercury Shadow and Crimson Paraplegic are on patrol making sure people don’t siphon gas out of other people’s cars.  Ninja Vicki’s busy stalking Mikka and Samurai Cathy.  Psycho Dave is out bringing democracy to an unspecified Central American country, just so he can take it away.  And Tag Larkin is… well, I’m not about to call Tag Larkin.

Maybe Sniper Cathy’s watching me tonight.  I like to think she is, because it reminds me not to watch porn by an open window.




  1. what about anonymous doug?

  2. yeah! everybody forgets anonymous doug!

  3. Which is precisely the point of Anonymous Doug.

  4. Whats suitcase full of scorpions doing, I’m sure you could have some fun with that.

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