Guess what torneira means in Portuguese?

July 17, 2008

“Let me borrow your kiln,” Psycho Dave says to me.

“I don’t have a kiln,” I say.

“You should get one and then let me borrow it,” says Psycho Dave.

“Why don’t you get your own?” I say. “What do you need a kiln for?”

“To make ceramic penises,” says Psycho Dave.

Well, that answer certainly could have been worse.

“See, the entire ceramic penis industry in Portugal is being run by two senior citizens,” says Psycho Dave. “They don’t have long to live, so who’s going to carry on the rich tradition of Portuguese ceramic cocks when they die?”

“So you’re looking to fill the coming ceramic cock void in Portugal?” I say.

“You know I’m all about filling stuff with cock,” says Psycho Dave.

Walked right into that one.

“The point is,” Psycho Dave continues, “is that I need to get in there with my brand of ceramic cock before someone sticks their cocks where they don’t belong.”

“How do you know your cocks will be of the quality that the Portuguese are looking for?” I say. “You’ve never done ceramics? I don’t think you’ve ever done an arts and craft project in your life. And arson doesn’t count.”

“I’ll put my cock up against anyone else’s,” says Psycho Dave. “My cock will be the grandest cock Portugal has ever seen.”

Now that makes me wonder if Lord Likely’s ever been to Portugal. He might have something to say about that. It also makes me wonder if Nursemyra will consider taking a side trip to Portugal the next time she’s vacationing in Spain, because we’ll need a judge.




  1. *snort*

    Any cock’ll do.

  2. I was thinking about stalking your neck of the woods for my next vacation…..

  3. “So you’re looking to fill the coming ceramic cock void in Portugal?”

    This line makes funny waves in so many different directions….

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