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Getting taken down in the box

August 5, 2008

Tina the Lesbian is going out to the Festival of Babes lesbian soccer festival out in Seattle at the end of the month. One problem: she doesn’t know how to play soccer. So we got her a personal coach.

“A’right ya wee coont lass, listen ap,” Marlie says, holding a glass of whiskey and donning the Team Ireland uniform she stole off a player she had snogged at World Cup ’94. “Na ya kick the fahkin’ ball wit th’ inside a’ya faat, nat with ya toes.”

Marlie demonstrates by kicking the ball over to me, without spilling a drop from her glass. I’m here because I had been an all-star goalkeeper in my early years. Plus it was either this or my court-mandated community service down at Our Lady of the Diabetically Legless. I kick the ball to Tina so she can try.

“Nat bad… nat bad at all,” Marlie says, seeing Tina pass the ball back to me. “Na let’s see how ya dive.”

“Dive? Did you say dive?” says Tina the Lesbian, confused.

“Yeah, when someone brushes against you, you have to fall down like you got shot and grab your ankle,” I say. “It’s practically a rule in international play.”

“Can we get back to that one later?” says Tina.

“Fine then, let’s move on ta takin’ off ya jersey when ya score,” says Marlie. Then she takes off her jersey, leaving only her sports bra, and starts waving it around her head.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” says Tina, pulling her shirt over her head with a triumphant yell, and exposing her true purpose for going to the lesbian soccer festival.

And you know something? Standing next to a lesbian and the wife of my best friend in their bras… I am still rather aroused.

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4 comments

  1. hey mr chubby

    Two lesbians stripping is the lead-in to every man’s hot dream.

    So, one lesbian and a cooperative straight-leaning woman is almost as good.


  2. Even if the straight girl is vagina non grata since she’s married to my best friend Bernie the Half Cyborg Cat?

    Then again, the penis, he does not listen to reason…


  3. I wasnt even there and I’m still aroused


  4. Don’t tell daisyfae…..



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