Better Know a Renal Player: Avonia the Wiccan Pimp

August 22, 2008

This week we discuss our favorite pagan…

Avonia runs the local Wiccan store in town, but it’s not profitable so she has to supplement her income by being a pimp. And she’s a really good pimp too.  She knows how to keep her pimp hand strong, how to organize prostitutes internationally, and how to keep a secret and not get caught.

She has a strong sense of justice, being rather socially conscious and all. She’s a vegetarian and she ran a hooker boycott of the US Military until they allowed pagan soldiers who have died to have their symbols (the pentacle) on their headstones. That boycott was lifted in December of 2006 and finally received national approval from the VA in April 2007.

And like Bernie, Avonia is married.  Arawn is her husband’s name, and he runs the WicMart while Avonia is pimping.

She belongs to a coven and participates in all the Wiccan sabbats, like the Summer Solstice and Mabon. She has a close relationship with nature and can cast spells.  The dead talk to her, though they aren’t very interesting. She is also rumored to be able to raise the dead, though she knows that would cause more trouble than it’s worth. 

She sees St. Patrick’s Day as a day of mourning rather than of drunkenness, considering it’s celebrating when St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland and fucked up the whole island for centuries. She also mad that Christianity stole the name of Easter from the pagans too.

Avonia believes that through understanding and learning Wicca and paganism will gain further acceptance in society, instead of through my ideas of having a Wiccan Political Action Commitee, getting department stores to have Wiccan holiday sales, or by emphasizing the use of swords in Wiccan ceremonies to the greater public

I enjoy saying inappropriate things around her, and she sometimes enjoys it too.  She being a nature-loving Wiccan, and I being an atheist with bad grass allergies, we compliment each other nicely I think.


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