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One down… six more to squat in

August 27, 2008

So John McCain wasn’t aware he owns seven or eight houses. Or more so, John McCain didn’t know his wife owns seven or eight houses. Well now he does, and one man was counting him not remembering that fact.

Anonymous Doug.

“I was sleeping in at least one of those houses,” Anonymous Doug says to me. “That’s where I pass out after a night of booze and products found under the sink. The last thing I want is for the McCains to sell any of those places to someone who might actually live there on a regular basis.”

“Yeah, that would suck,” I say. “Hey, did you find any of Cindy McCain’s secret pill stashes in any of their places?”

“She’s a crafty one,” says Anonymous Doug. “But not Anonymous Doug crafty. But what good does that do me if someone’s actually home? I doubt they’d let me dance naked in their living room high on painkillers. That’s my Tuesday nights, man.”

“Yeah, this election has been hard on a lot of people,” I say.

“I know, it sucks,” Anonymous Doug says. “I mean, if McCain remembers about this house, where else am I going to take underage girls to find out what being a woman really feels like?”

I think having a house that smells of raw sex and crying is going to have a depreciative effect on its value. Well, maybe not if you’re Anonymous Doug, but he’s not in the market to buy.

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2 comments

  1. “She’s a crafty one,” says Anonymous Doug. “But not Anonymous Doug crafty. But what good does that do me if someone’s actually home? I doubt they’d let me dance naked in their living room high on painkillers. That’s my Tuesday nights, man.”

    Tuesday… really that seems more like a thursday activity to me.


  2. What does crying smell like?



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