Better Know a Renal Player: Mikka

August 29, 2008

This week we learn more about everyone’s favorite Finn…

Mikka lives in Chin-Finn town, our town’s Chinese and Finnish neighborhood, and although he’s only Finnish he has a great affinity for all things Chinese or Finnish, but mostly Finnish because their musicians tend to rock harder, Finnish kids are the smartest in the world, and because the number one leading cause of death in Finland is drinking. But he’s all about Chinese astrology though, even if there are flaws in the Chinese calendar.

He loves video games, a lot, no seriously, he spends a lot of time and money on video games, though I’m not sure how he affords them with his meager job at the wonton soup factory. He’s also a fan of pro wrestling though the fire’s gone low on that since that whole Chris Benoit killing his family and himself thing. Mikka used to be my guy for anime trivia, but he gave it up after seeing they were making an anime Bible.

He’s also easily tricked, which I attribute to him only having a GED and for having a loose grip of the English language. Yeah, he doesn’t process information as well as most of us. He gets words confused rather easily. For the love of Vonnegut, Mikka thought Ramen noodles grew on trees.

Mikka also tends to get punched a lot, seeing how he’s a smart-ass who happens to be rather scrawny. Tina the Lesbian has hit him a couple times. Ninja Vicki dropped him with a roundhouse kick before.

I usually drink with Mikka the most, seeing how we’re both dorks (especially for Star Wars). We like get sauced and talking about stuff like how drunk do you have to get to be anti-semetic, or why it’s socially unacceptable to hit a woman unless you are a woman as well. One time we forgot that New Orleans existed, but then again so did a lot of America at the time. We also enjoy Palestinian children’s programming for the insane comedy it provides.

For a while, we were both single, desperately single, but then Mikka hooked up with Ninja Vicki’s arch-enemy Samurai Cathy, to hilarious results. Yeah, he scored that night. And Mikka is very much in love with his new girlfriend, so much so that he will risk cursing out Ninja Vicki to show it. But if your girlfriend could kick the cancer out of someone or hack people in half, you’d love her too. Hell, she won’t even let him let her win at video games.

And so we hope that you now better know my friend Mikka.



  1. can he be my friend too?

  2. I am in awe at (a) your vast linking abilities, and (b) the fact that I am so obsessed with reading this shit that I clicked on every single one of them.

  3. So where do Ramen noodles grow?

Leave a Reply to Rassles Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: