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Who is running? Oh no! Bear is running! How can that be?

September 2, 2008

“So why did McCain pick Ashleigh Banfield as his running mate?” asks Mikka.

“Um, he didn’t,” I say.  “He picked Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska.”

“I thought Alaska’s governor was a bear,” says Mikka.

“She might have beaten the bear in the primaries,” I say.

“That’s pretty good, beating a bear in an election,” Mikka says.

“Bears are traditionally poor campaigners,” I say.  “You get them out there for a rally, next thing you know they’re stomping around the stage eating babies and mauling war veterans.  Then it gets spun that the bear is pro-choice and doesn’t support the troops and that just kills their chances at elective office.”

“So how does Suitcase of Scorpions keep winning elections?” Mikka asks, referring to our Head of City Council (R-3rd District) who happens to be an actual suitcase full of venomous scorpions.

“Well, he’s got handlers,” I say.  “Someone to carry him around, someone to keep his tail out of range of people, someone to keep the scorpions in the suitcase…”

“So if bears had better handlers, they’d win more elections?” says Mikka.

“They’d have a better chance, sure,” I say.  “Put a bear with Karl Rove or James Carville and they might just win an election or two.”

“Or the bear might eat them,” says Mikka.

“Either way, America wins,” I say.

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One comment

  1. “You get them out there for a rally, next thing you know they’re stomping around the stage eating babies and mauling war veterans.”

    Got to admit it sends a strong message though



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