TiVo won’t terminate a pregnancySeptember 10, 2008
I keep hearing the phrase “Abortion on demand” bandied about by politicians and pundits and such, but no one ever has ever explained what it means.
“I remember last Fall I knocked up some broad,” Anonymous Doug says to me as we share some pints down at the pub. “But I didn’t want to do my usual disappear for all-time thing I always do because she had digital cable and the NFL package that let me watch every game on Sundays.”
Anonymous Doug likes his football, because he usually has money riding on all the games.
“So there I am, sitting on the couch, wondering how I’m going to get out of this one,” Anonymous Doug says. “She’s all about having the kid, being all Catholic and shit.”
Anonymous Doug likes banging Catholic chicks, because they will do the dirtiest stuff in bed.
“So while she’s taking a shower, I decide to ease the pain by checking out some of the shows offered on her digital cable’s On Demand option,” says Anonymous Doug. “Maybe they have some Fawlty Towers episodes or something.”
Anonymous Doug likes John Cleese. No explanation is necessary.
“And what should I find just under the latest episodes of Battlestar Galactica?” says Anonymous Doug.
“Abortion on Demand,” I say.
“One click of the remote, a scream from the bathroom, and I’m no longer a daddy,” says Anonymous Doug. “Dodged a bullet, and got to watch the rest of football season.”
It’s Anonymous Doug’s world… you just don’t remember you’re living in it.