Don’t Know What You Got Until It Stops Stalking You

September 15, 2008

Ninja Vicki noticed something out of sorts today as she climbed out of bedroom window. Apparently Tag Larkin has finally stopped hanging outside her house and holding a boombox over his head in an attempt to win the fair ninja’s heart.

And now that he’s stopped, she misses it. A lot.

So she goes out to find Tag Larkin, finally catching up to him as he stands outside one of our local Starbucks with a sign in hand reading “Tag Larkin Loves the Brunette Barista with the Eyebrow Piercing and the Unicorn Tattoo.” It’s a very large sign.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ninja Vicki berates Tag Larkin.

“Tag Larkin is smitten,” says Tag Larkin. “Smitten with the girl who gave Tag Larkin an iced caramel macchiato yesterday.”

“You’re supposed to be in front of my house holding a boombox over your head trying to win my heart,” says Ninja Vicki. “I mean, you were out there for like almost three months. Now you’re just gone?”

“Tag Larkin’s infatuation has limits,” says Tag Larkin. “When Tag Larkin offers a woman his heart, Tag Larkin doesn’t want it ignored and neglected like an elderly relative in a nursing home.”

“So that’s it?” Ninja Vicki says, very hurt. “You’re just giving up on me?”

“Tag Larkin didn’t give up on you, you gave up on Tag Larkin,” says Tag Larkin.

And so Ninja Vicki walks away, her heart wounded by yet another man whom she had no interest in until he started chasing after some other woman. And Tag Larkin continues his focused pursuit of a woman who is probably scared to death of him. I’m not sure whose issues are worse.




  1. Ninja Vicki’s. she wins hands down.

  2. “Tag Larkin didn’t give up on you, you gave up on Tag Larkin,” says Tag Larkin.

    Thats almost the perfect line to end a romantic comedy on… a really fucked up romantic comedy mind you!

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