Invest in Tag Larkin

September 30, 2008

With the stock market in utter fluxing chaos and a new Great Depression looming overhead, you might be asking yourself if your investments are safe. Well, they would be if you did what you should have done in the first place.

Invest in Tag Larkin.

When you invest in Tag Larkin, you know exactly where your money is. It’s with Tag Larkin. There’s no broker, no middle-man, no weird guy waving pieces of paper on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. The closest distance between you and your money is Tag Larkin. That’s better than being federally insured. That’s being Tag Larkin Insured.

Invest in Tag Larkin.

What kind of return can you expect from your money when you invest it in Tag Larkin. Well, you can be guaranteed to have your money returned to you when Tag Larkin is damn well and ready to give it back toyou. That’s the sort of straight-talk you won’t get at Smith Barney or Merrill Lynch or any of those robber baron syndicates.

Invest in Tag Larkin.

Will your investment beat out inflation while it’s in Tag Larkin’s hands? Are you questioning Tag Larkin’s manhood? You did. You just doubted that Tag Larkin could beat inflation. Son of a bitch! Tag Larkin beats everything. Inflation. Deflation. Conflagration. Bear markets. Bull markets. Yak markets. Boom times. Bust times. Cock times. Brief Recessions. Great Depressions. Bad Impressions. Tag Larkin beats all comers. You’ll never need to worry about Tag Larkin wanting a bail-out, because the judge keeps denying him bail anyway.

So invest in Tag Larkin, before Tag Larkin makes a margin call to your house and presents your ass with his rock hard prospectus.



  1. Does Tag Larkin cover auto?

  2. Tag Larkin and conflagration… my two favorite things.

  3. cock time…. where in the world is it cock time? I’ve got frequent flyer points…

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