Get the Vote Out of HereOctober 1, 2008
Something you might not know about Samurai Cathy… she’s not registered to vote. So she stopped by my place to learn how to do that.
“Well, you’ve got the forms,” I say to her. “I don’t see what your issue is.”
“I don’t know what to register as,” Samurai Cathy says.
“Well, are you in favor of the worst ideas ever made in the public square?” I ask.
“Um… no, not at all,” says Samurai Cathy.
“All right, so you’re not a Republican,” I say. “Now do you favor unnecessary acquiescence to these worst ideas ever?”
“No…” says SamuraI Cathy.
“Then you’re not a Democrat,” I say. “How about screaming into the void and not being heard by anyone while keeping up the pretenses of supposedly being a fair-minded person?”
“No,” says Samurai Cathy.
“Then you’re not an Independent or unaffiliated,” I say. “Do you like being taken seriously?”
“Yes I do,” says Samurai Cathy.
“Then you’re not a Green Party member,” I say. “Are you an asshole with no empathy who likes smoking pot?”
“What does not being that disqualify me as?” says Samurai Cathy.
“Libertarian,” I say.
“So what is left?” asks Samurai Cathy.
“What’s left is for you to learn that if party affiliation was so important, they wouldn’t let you switch it anytime you wanted,” I say.
And thus Samurai Cathy learned a valuable lesson regarding American-style democracy.