Tag Larkin won’t answer the questions the way you want to hear

October 8, 2008

Regular Renal readers know that Tag Larkin is at war with Sarah Palin’s children Track and Trig because he thinks they’re trying to sneak on his territory of being named Tag (a Tagopoly if you will).  But now Tag Larkin has declared war on Sarah Palin herself.

Why?  Because Sarah Palin is stealing from Tag Larkin.  How?  Because she stated at the last debate that she won’t answer questions the way that other people want.  And that is grand personal larceny against Tag Larkin because Tag Larkin hasn’t been answering questions the way people want for years.

When Tag Larkin gets pulled over by the cops and is asked if he’s been drinking, Tag Larkin gets out of the car and bellows “Behold your king!  Follow me and I promise you glory!”   After that he keeps hollering the words to the song Memory from the musical Cats until the officers taser him into a seizure.

Tag Larkin doesn’t answer questions the way you want.

When Tag Larkin was a child, his parents would bring him to the local mall to sit on Santa’s lap.  When Santa would ask what Tag Larkin wanted for Christmas, Tag Larkin vomited up blood on the jolly fat man.

Tag Larkin doesn’t answer questions the way you want.

One time Tag Larkin’s girlfriend asked him if he ever wanted children, and Tag Larkin set the couch on fire.  While they were still sitting on it.  And while his girlfriend soon jumped off the couch and ran out of the house, Tag Larkin stayed where he was and watched a full episode of House M.D. before there was no more couch to sit on.

And that, Sarah Palin, is how you don’t answer questions the way people want you to.




  1. If only Sarah Palin would douse Santa in blood-vomit…that’ll get her in the White House.

  2. She’s a hack… a reasonably sexy hack. Buts she’s no Tag Larkin

  3. but will she take your advice? or was that tag’s advice?

  4. I’m in disagreement with Rassles on this one, mainly as I want to see Santa douse Palin in blood and vomit.

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