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Better Know a Renal Player: Trent Lott

October 10, 2008

What’s good? I’ll tell you what’s good. What’s good is that we’re going to drop some knowledge on you about the pimptastic former Senate Majority Leader and former Senator of the so-called state of Mississippi. His driver’s license says Trent Lott, but all the shorties know him as T-Lott. Or if you’ve a little more time to kill T-to-the-Riz-ent, L-to-the iz-ott.

Americans know Trent Lott mostly from his incident at fellow Senator Strom Thurmond’s 100th birthday party, where he told the audience “When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over the years, either.” Thurmond, from South Carolina, had run for president in 1948 as a third party candidate on a racial segregational platform. And thus after being forced to give up his Senate Majority Leader position and go on Black Entertainment Television to apologize, the wheels were set in motion for his transformation from Confederate peckerwood to Pimptastic Cracker.

Now T-Lott shows up to help people when they fuck up in matters of race. He first appeared to help out Michael Richards and Mel Gibson after they went a little nutty. Then he made Joe Biden and his dumbass mouth feel better after he ran the shortest Presidential campaign ever (and later he would tell me why Barack Obama picked Biden for Vice President after Biden was so condescending to him). And he got Don Imus to stop sulking in my backyard after that nappy-headed ho’s incident.

Sometimes he shows up unexpectedly, like the time the NAACP held a burial for the word nigga and me, Avonia the Wiccan Pimp and Russell Simmons went out at night looking to dig it back up and hide it. Trent Lott and Quentin Tarantino had the same idea.

But all good things come to an end, a year after his party lost control of both legislative houses Trent Lott resigned from the Senate to go run up in people’s houses with former Australian prime minister John Howard. Now he had the free time to hit strip clubs with Fidel Castro, mourn the death of his homeboy William F. Buckley (he called him “money” for short), help his old friend Alberto Gonzales try to get a new job after leaving his Attorney General position and finding that no one will hire his dumbass, and hang with someone who has less of an idea about race relations than he does, Geraldine Ferraro.

You wanna roll with T-Lott? Well you can because Renal Failure from time to time hands out the T-Lott Posse Award to peeps who have shown they can hang with the Shiz-enator.

We’ve got homies like Alex L., and Qelqoth, and DaisyFae in the club getting tipsy with Trent. And maybe one day you could too.

Hey you, get off Trent Lott’s cloud. You don’t know him and you don’t know his style.

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6 comments

  1. how can daisyfae be part of a club without nursemyra? don’t you know we’re joined at the tits?


  2. joined and oiled, if i recall…

    and T Lott is my homey, bro. Word. Got his face on my rims…


  3. Oh, dropping the Shogun horse-slaying style now, are we?


  4. Nursemyra: I can fix that, but you also know you’re Renal Failure’s Number One Fan.

    Rassles: It’s a little known fact that the 36th Chamber is located in Mississippi. It’s a lesser known fact that Trent Lott is cutting an album with the RZA called Shaolin Honkey, lesser known because I just made that up.


  5. No one rolls like T-Lott, homies for life aiiiight.

    Can’t believe I still dont have the 36 chambers album.


  6. renalfailure, I will NEVER forget that I’m your Number One Fan



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