My hips don’t lie… but they do vote

October 15, 2008

Upon hearing that Barack Obama secured the endorsement of Shakira, I went over to the house of the only person on my block who loves Shakira more than I do.

“I see it as overkill,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“What do you mean by overkill?” I ask.

“I mean, I was already voting for Obama,” says Tina the Lesbian. “This Shakira endorsement really doesn’t help me any. It’s not like I can vote harder for the man.”

“Well actually you could,” I say. “It’s called voter fraud. Ninja Vicki’s been collecting the voter ID’s of the people she’s killed. I’m sure she’d hook you up with a few.”

“I’ll pass on that,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“Do you think anyone was waiting to hear who Shakira was choosing before making up their minds on who to vote for?” I say.

“Who knows what goes through the minds of the undecided voter,” says Tina the Lesbian. “What do you think?”

“I think undecided voters already know who they want to vote for, they just don’t know why yet,” I say.

“You got that off the first Matrix movie,” says Tina the Lesbian. “The Oracle says that to Neo when he goes to visit her.”

“It’s still true, though,” I say. “At some point between now and election day they have a moment like in the second Matrix movie where Neo meets the Architect and they get some serious knowledge dropped on them that makes them act one way or the other.”

“Got any allegories from the third Matrix movie?” asks Tina the Lesbian.

“Nah, that one hasn’t been played on free cable yet,” I say.

But I can watch any Shakira video I want on YouTube… and so can Tina the Lesbian.




  1. I’m holding out for input from Donnie Osmond. He’s probably dreamed up some colorful solution to solve our cash crisis. I mean, he dominated Egypt’s famine with a flair for economic planning.

  2. OMG!! Shakira is voting for Obama? I’ve just been waiting to hear who she was endorsing before I made up my mind. Or maybe my mind was already made up and I just didn’t know it… not sure… maybe I should go watch the Matrix movies again.

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