Better Know a Renal Player: Lance Patriarchy

October 17, 2008

So I hang out with the manifestation of what feminist call the patriarchy, the abstract representation of male oppression that prevents true equality between the sexes. Here’s what you should know about Lance…

He doesn’t sweat the small stuff.

He’s the one behind those Purity Balls you’re heard about in the news, and no they’re not a testicle-cleaning formula.

He knows only hot women are empowered.

He’s also friends with Chris Materialism.

He invokes double standards for morality between men and women regarding sex just because he can.

Women can’t normally see Lance Patriarchy, but lesbians can. And once Lance figured that out he found a new person to go bug in Tina the Lesbian.

He’s against gay marriage but only so he can continue to keep women down.

Sometimes all the yelling and blaming for society’s woes upsets him.



One comment

  1. Lance is one of my heros. Women equal… pffft whats next, we can’t use the Swiss as pack mules any more, ridiculous!

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