Endorsement judoOctober 20, 2008
So the other day I’m walking past Tina the Lesbian’s house and I see her in the yard staring at her Obama/Biden for President sign on her front lawn in a curious manner. So I ask her what’s up.
“I’m rethinking my support for Obama for President,” says Tina the Lesbian.
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“Because Colin Powell endorsed Obama,” says TIna the Lesbian.
Long time Renal readers will remember that we don’t have a good relationship with the former Secretary of State, specifically for his complete bullshit speech in front of the UN in 2003 about Iraq having anthrax. He’s rather sorry about doing that, but that doesn’t mean we’re in the mood to forgive him. One of our favorite phrases to yell is “Shut the fuck up, Colin Powell!” regardless of whether Colin Powell is even in the same room as us (note: Trent Lott also likes saying “Fuck Colin Powell” because Colin can’t hang with the T-Lott Posse.)
So knowing all that, it’s our standard operating procedure to do the opposite of what Colin Powell says, and now it’s coming back to bite us in the ass.
“I thought we weren’t listening to endorsements when it comes to selecting the person we want to be President?” I say.
“This is completely different than getting endorsed by Shakira or Tom Selleck or all three members of Stella,” says Tina the Lesbian. “This is someone who actually held a position of power. This is someone who has fucked up royally in a position of power. I don’t want him on the same side as the guy I want to be President.”
“So you’re saying it’s a reverse endorsement?” I say. “Like an endorsement that will make you less likely to support that the endorser is endorsing.”
“Exactly,” says Tina the Lesbian. “You see an advertisement about a product featuring someone you hate and you say ‘Fuck it, I’m not buying that.'”
“Have you considered this is an inverted endorsement judo maneuver by Colin Powell for John McCain?” I say.
“You just said a lot of words that don’t make sense,” says Tina the Lesbian.
“I’ll explain,” I say. “What if Colin Powell knew that people were inclined to do the opposite of what he says? Wouldn’t he support the opposite of what he really supports to get you to support the things he’s saying he doesn’t support?”
“So you’re saying Colin Powell is trying to trick me into voting for McCain by supporting Obama because he knows I will always do the opposite of what Colin Powell says?” says Tina the Lesbian. “This is all a reverse psychology game by Colin Powell to yet again fuck us over.”
“I have no more to teach you today,” I say.
And so Tina is still voting for Obama and I still get to say “Shut the fuck up Colin Powell” with a clear conscience.