We abort so that we can try again later

October 21, 2008

One of the pieces of advice my friends give me is to go where the women are.  This is their nice way of saying that I need to leave my house.

So I go down to the local abortion clinic because I know that’s where the women are.  Unfortunately it’s where the people who have no jobs but can afford picket signs go to protest abortions.  And it makes it really hard to get my mack on while some nutter keeps yelling “Don’t murder your baby!”  I mean, I’ve figured out how to stay aroused in spite of that, but the women coming in and out of the clinic don’t find it erotic at all.

But there’s one thing these anti-abortion people haven’t considered… that some of us might be here precisely because of an abortion.

Mikka’s mom had an abortion seven months before she conceived Mikka.  Mikka’s dad had just lost his job at the salmon smoking factory and economic times were tough, clearly not a time to start a family.  But after a while new jobs were found, money was earned, and dirty Finnish sex was had that resulted in the pregnancy that brought Mikka into the world.

And if Mikka wasn’t conceived and born when he was born, then his sister Riika would not have been conceived and born either.  Their parents fuck on a Tuesday instead of a Thursday and maybe Riika is born male, or brunette, or with the family’s recessive sixth finger gene.

The same goes for birth control.  If your dad forgot to wear his condom in July instead of May, the sperm with your name on it gets shot into a gym sock on a lonely Friday night instead of into your mom.  Then where would you be?  Not here, I’ll tell you that.

But no one wants to talk about the millions of people who might not have been born if their parents hadn’t ended prior pregnancies.  I think it’s because your average abortion protester doesn’t have a deep appreciation for science fiction regarding time travel and causality.  Or because they don’t like to hear me talking about their fathers slinging DNA around like they were watering plants with it.




  1. I’d like to have me some dirty finnish sex

  2. Interesting, very interesting.

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