Your costume is bad and you should feel bad

October 23, 2008

We’re a little more than a week out from Halloween and many people we know don’t have costumes yet.  So Renal Failure is going to help you out like we did last year.  Not because we care, but because we’re really hard up for post ideas this week.

First off the bat… going to a Halloween party dressed as Sarah Palin isn’t clever.  Zombie Sarah Palin is clever.  “I’m gonna eat yer brains, dontcha know…”

In fact, you can never go wrong with a zombie version of someone.  And if you want to be edgy funny, pick someone who died this year.  You’ve got Heath Ledger, Isaac Hayes, Rudy Ray Moore… man, Dolemite’s a good costume anyway, but Zombie Dolemite has got to be awesome.

But maybe you’re not one for putting on all that zombie make-up and making your clothes look like you’ve just crawled out of a grave.  Then here’s a suggestion for you… dress up as a Renal Failure character!

Why not?  Because the people at the party won’t get it?  Then that’s their fault for not being regular Renal Readers.  What kind of friends do you have that aren’t down with the Failure?  Bad ones, that’s the kind you have.

Besides, who’s going to give you shit if you’re dressed up like Ninja Vicki or Samurai Cathy?  Hell, I’d think you’d get major originality kudos from anyone if you showed up at a soirée as Avonia the Wiccan Pimp.

And if you do dress up like a Renal Failure character, can you send us a picture of it?  We’ll put it up in our Character Art archive.

Oh, and just because you dress up like Tag Larkin for a party, that doesn’t mean you can get away with the same stuff Tag Larkin does… because Tag Larkin has an overwhelming aura, a virile power, a manly musk about him that you can’t buy in a Halloween shoppe or grow in a lab or brew in your kitchen.  Frightened scientists refer to it as TagLarkium… and you don’t have it.




  1. You could just tell people you came to thier party dressed as Anonymous Doug, when you actually stayed at home and got drunk on vodka and rum balls…

  2. where can I get a lesbian costume? will a corset do instead?

  3. damn it, nursemyra, i was going to be Zombie Tina the Lesbian, damn it… maybe i should be Zombie Avonia the Wiccan Pimp and we can still go together?

  4. Wiccans wear corsets. I think the forces of nature and the various gods and goddesses of the land like a good corset.

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