Tag the Vote

November 4, 2008

It’s Election Day in America.  We’re electing a lot of stuff this year, and one of them is the mayor of our town, which Tag Larkin has been running for.

And so on this day each political party sends out volunteers to make sure people went out to vote.  But since Tag Larkin is running as an independent and has no volunteers, he’s making these house calls himself, which is why Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat and his wife Marlie find Tag Larkin on their doorstep this evening.

“Tag Larkin wants to know if you went out to vote today,” says Tag Larkin to the happy couple.

“They won’t let me in the voting booth,” Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat says, being held in Marlie’s arms as they stand in their doorway to chat with Tag Larkin.  “Apparently cats have not been given the right to vote yet here in fascist cat-hating America.”

“I already voted this marnin’,” Marlie says to Tag Larkin.

“Tag Larkin thanks you for your vote, but asks that you go out and vote for Tag Larkin again,” says the mayoral candidate.

“I cahn’t vote twice, it’s against tha law,” Marlie answers.

“Do you want Tag Larkin to win?”  Tag Larkin says.  “Tag Larkin says ask not what you can’t do for Tag Larkin because of the law, but for what you can do for Tag Larkin in spite of the law.”

“Sarry, but I cahn’t go vote again,” Marlie says. “Besides, I didn’t even see you on the ballot.”

With that, Tag Larkin finds out he had forgotten to fill out and send in the proper paperwork to be a mayoral candidate.  Tag Larkin thought that by just sending in a ripped out notebook page with the message “I WILL BE YOUR MAYOR, LOVE TAG LARKIN” in magic marker was sufficient enough.  So Tag Larkin will not be our mayor…

…but Oatmeal will.




  1. I feel sorry for your town being deprived of Tag Larkin as your fearless leader.

  2. poor tag larkin. maybe daisyfae could be flown in to cheer him up?

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