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Superhero Voting

November 5, 2008

Note: this post was written before the election results came in… because I actually wanted to get a good night’s sleep and I have the patience to wait until morning to find out who won.

“So did you vote?” I ask Crimson Paraplegic.  She and Mercury Shadow are having a post-Election Day late night happy hour on my roof, drinking Libertarian Lager.  It’s a beer that tastes good in theory but doesn’t work out so well in real life.  Much like Objectivism Ale, except less assholey.

“Yeah, we both voted this morning and then again this evening,” says Crimson Paraplegic.

*blink* *blink*

“Wait, you can’t vote twice,” I say.

“Superheroes can,” says Mercury Shadow.  “It’s one of the perks of the job.”

“My normal identity gets to vote,” says Crimson Paraplegic.  “And then my superhero identity gets to vote.”

“I guess it’s good for young people to see superheroes involved in democracy,” I say.

“Actually it’s a security function,” says Mercury Shadow.  “There was a group of super villains called the Dastardly Bastards who used voter rolls to narrow down the true identities of super heroes.  So Congress passed the SuperHero Bonus Vote Act in 1997 to help us out.”

“Really, that passed through a Republican controlled congress?”  I say.  “Does that mean most superheroes vote Republican?  Because if they mostly voted Democratic I don’t think it would have gotten through.”

“It’s an even split from what I’ve heard,” says Crimson Paraplegic.  “I vote Democratic because of their support for the handicapped.”

That gets us into a discussion about how certain superheroes vote.  We think Batman votes Democratic because of his support for gun control.  Wonder Woman too because who’s going to tell her what she can and can’t do with her uterus? Iron Man probably votes Republican, just like Superman and Captain America.  We’re not sure about Wolverine, being that he’s Canadian.  Maybe Libertarian.

crimson smallnote

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2 comments

  1. […] Renal Failure answers the long posed question on how Superheroes vote. Now, the only question left is who would they vote for? RF says: We think Batman votes Democratic because of his support for gun control.  Wonder Woman too because who’s going to tell her what she can and can’t do with her uterus? Iron Man probably votes Republican, just like Superman and Captain America.  We’re not sure about Wolverine, being that he’s Canadian.  Maybe Libertarian. […]


  2. haha… that’s great take on the current election fever



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