Who Wants a Piece of Tag Larkin?

November 10, 2008

Who wants a piece of Tag Larkin?

I’ll tell you who doesn’t: those people working at the polling place on Election Day. Tag Larkin didn’t wait in line or check in at the table to give the poll workers his name to see if he even was registered to vote. Tag Larkin just marched right into that middle school, ran inside one of the voting booths, cast his ballot, and then ran to the next booth to cast another ballot. Sure, there were protests of Tag Larkin’s bold love of democracy, but they were soon silenced when Tag Larkin shoved a provisional ballot down one of the poll worker’s throats and then pulled it out of their ass. That is what Tag Larkin called “Casting a Vote for the Brown Party.”

Now… who wants a piece of Tag Larkin?

I’ll tell you who doesn’t: the mailman. Yesterday Tag Larkin demanded that the mailman give him better mail instead of all the utility bills and court orders that Tag Larkin usually gets. The mailman protests that he’s not responsible for what kind of mail Tag Larkin gets, but that doesn’t stop Tag Larkin from forcibly taking the mailman’s mailbag and running back into his house to search for better mail. The mailman tells Tag Larkin he’s tampering with the mail, but do you think the threat of federal prosecution is going to make Tag Larkin flinch? I didn’t think so.

Who else want a piece of Tag Larkin?

I’ll tell you who doesn’t: Sarah Palin. If you recall, Tag Larkin declared war on Sarah Palin for two reasons: 1) for stealing his method of not answering questions the way the question wants, and 2) for naming her sons Track and Trig, names that are too close to Tag Larkin’s name and Tag Larkin won’t stand for that (just ask Mitt Romney and his son Tagg). Now look what happened to her: she doesn’t get to be vice president.

Who else wants a piece of Tag Larkin? No one should, because you won’t just get a piece of Tag Larkin, you’ll get the whole thing.





  1. And the Brown Party smiled…

  2. Tag’s the man…what a brute! I wish he were my next door neighbor. We could kill twice as many dogs as I do now.

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