h1

Kittens we can believe in

November 11, 2008

“Why’s he got a get a fucking puppy?” yells Bernie the Half-Cyborg cat, drunk off of a couple saucers of gin. “Why can’t Obama get his daughters a cat?’

“Because they don’t want a cat, they want a puppy,” I say.

“Presidents always get dogs,” Bernie says. “I want to see more cats in the White House.”

“Apparently W had a cat,” I say. “Named India.”

“But you never heard shit about that cat,” says Bernie. “Everyone’s all about that stupid terrier Barney. He gets all the videos. He gets to go on trips with the President. He gets to sinks his teeth into a member of the media. India never got shit.”

“Maybe India was smart enough not to want to be seen with his owner,” I say, “considering he was busy fucking up the country.”

“We haven’t had a visible cat in the White House since Socks in the Clinton administration,” says Bernie.

“And the Clinton’s didn’t even keep Socks when they left the White House,” I say. “They gave Socks to their secretary when they left. He apparently didn’t get along well with their new dog Lucky, and plus Socks was Chelsea’s cat and Chelsea couldn’t bring the cat to college.”

“If Obama is serious about change, he’ll get himself a bunch of cats,” says Bernie. “Where are the presidents that had multiple cats, huh?”

“Actually Calvin Coolidge had a cat, a bobcat, two lion cubs, and a pygmy hippo,” I say.

“Hmm… then Obama needs a liger,” Bernie says.

Half lion/half tiger… just like how Obama is half-white and half-black… I like this idea, at least for a moment. Yeah, of course there’s the possibility of the Obama daughters getting mauled by such a large jungle cat, but there are always risks when you embrace change.

berniesmallnote

humor-blogs.comfuelmyblog.comalltop-humorcre8buzzblogcatalog

Vote for us for Best Satire and Parody Blogger of the Year at HUMORBLOGGERS.COM!

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. Can Obama be like He-Man then, kind of riding around on a big cat smiting skeletor and reforming economic policies…


  2. I’d vote for a man with a bobcat and a pygmy hippo.

    good to see you’re doing well so far at humorblogger. how many times are we allowed to vote per day – is it only once?


  3. It think Chelle has it rigged that you can only vote once. However, if you connect to the internet somewhere else, as I have from a local cafe, you can vote again.

    I’m not voting harder, I’m voting smarter.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: