What does male oppression have to say about the election?

November 12, 2008

Tina the Lesbian was taking out her lesbian garbage the other day, and waiting by her lesbian garbage cans was her eternal metaphysical nemesis Lance Patriarchy, the manifestation of male oppression adversely affecting the lives of all women.

“Hi Tina!” says Lance Patriarchy with a confidence that can only be achieved by successfully holding down an entire gender.

“What? What are you here for?” Tina the Lesbian says, not really in the mood for the Patriarchy’s bullshit. “Are you here to gloat about Sarah Palin losing? Because that doesn’t bother me a damn bit. Women are better off with Obama in office.”

“No, I’m not here about that,” says Lance Patriarchy.

“Is this about Prop 8 in California?” says Tina the Lesbian. “Listen, I’m not happy about it but it doesn’t surprise me about California. Christ, they voted for Reagan there.”

“No, that’s not what I’m here about,” says Lance Patriarchy.

“Then why the hell are you outside my house?” says Tina the Lesbian. “What do you want? You always want something, now what the hell is it?”

“I just wanted to harsh your buzz a bit,” says Lance Patriarchy. “You’ve been way too happy since Obama won and I just wanted to remind you that I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Couldn’t you just do that through the media like you usually do?” says Tina the Lesbian.

“I could, but then I wouldn’t get to see your smiling face,” says Lance Patriarchy.

So Tina the Lesbian goes back into her house, puts on an Ani DeFranco CD, and cranks the volume to 11. For it is known in the feminist community that the Patriarchy finds Ani DeFranco really annoying.



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  1. Pffft… damn Ani DeFranco.

  2. was she playing “Your untouchable face?”

    I love that song. “Fuck you and your untouchable face, fuck you for existing in the first place….”

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