The Night Before the Dialysis Machine Broke

December 24, 2008

T’was the night before Christmas, and in the center of town,
Samurai Cathy and Ninja Vicki were about to throw down.
They brandished their swords with skill and precision
Hoping to inflict a very fatal incision.

Mikka was warm at home, playing XBOX 360
Unaware his girlfriend had gone out to fight Ninja Vicki.
And Tina the Lesbian was having a nice family dinner,
Hoping and praying grandma wouldn’t call her a sinner.

Bernie was downtown with the local police,
To secure from the authorities his drunk wife’s release.
Marlie this evening was pissed off and surly,
For on Christmas Eve, she found, the bars all close early.

Anonymous Doug was up for a nice Christmas Carol,
She’s 19, with Double D’s, and owns schoolgirl apparel.
And the Wheatleys were hiding and quivering with fright
Because Tina told them Gay Santa would come for them in the night.

But we’ve gotten distracted from Vicki and Cath,
Their eyes hot with fury, their swords full of wrath.
But their duel to the death took a puzzling pause
For what they saw next violated numerous laws.

From down the street came a Santa-worthy sleigh
Being pulled through the street in a very non-Santa way.
Not by reindeer or horses or animals on all fours
No, this mode of transport was powered by whores.

In fishnets and stilettos they trudged through the snow,
All sweaty and harnessed and hopped up on blow.
Their driver had a voice to which even the dead would harken
Which led Vicki to quip “Oh shit, it’s Tag Larkin.”

To be continued…

cathy smallnote




  1. fantastic! I LOVE it!

  2. ROFL! That’s good stuff right there

  3. Cheering wildly – more…

  4. hey – it’s xmas here in Oz – best wishes for today and for all of 2009 xxx

  5. Gay Santa! Love it! Can’t wait for the rest.

  6. So, do whores-drawn sleighs fly through the sky?

  7. They do if you give ’em enough cocaine.

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