Tag Larkin Makes the Tough Decisions

January 27, 2009

Tag Larkin makes the tough decisions.

When Tag Larkin was looking for a pet, he went down to the local animal shelter to see what animals they had. Not satisfied with their selection, Tag Larkin then broke into the local zoo and, against the zoo’s feeble wishes, choose to take home a panda bear, which later died when Tag Larkin fed it a bottle of rum and let the panda drive home. Yes, Tag Larkin’s car was totaled and yes the people of that nursing home were quite shocked to see a panda-driven Honda Civic come crashing through the wall of their TV room, but what those screaming old people failed to see is that…

Tag Larkin makes the tough decisions.

When Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, Tag Larkin was out in the streets in a boat, bringing water and supplies to people and ferrying them to safety. Sure, Tag Larkin wasn’t actually in New Orleans at the time. Sure, Tag Larkin was in Boston at the time, a place that Hurricane Katrina was nowhere near and so did not even have flooded streets for Tag Larkin to actually ride his boat. But you’re missing the fact that Tag Larkin did something, and that’s because…

Tag Larkin makes the tough decisions.

When Tag Larkin goes on a dinner date and the waiter asks if he would like soup or salad, Tag Larkin says “Beer.” When the waiter informs him that’s not a choice, Tag Larkin repeats his demand with more volume, standing steadfast in his decision despite the adversity standing before him. Then when the waiter asks Tag Larkin’s date if she would like the soup or the salad, Tag Larkin punches the waiter in the neck and declares that the soup and salad are no longer on the menu. Yes, some might find it overly bold for Tag Larkin to dictate what a restaurant will and won’t serve, but those people need to realize is that…

Tag Larkin makes the tough decisions. And you’d better damn appreciate that.





  1. Who am I to argue with Tag Larking?

  2. oops… hope he won’t come after me because I added a
    “g” to his name, that was a typo I swear

  3. ooo…I love pandas.
    Here I bought a cuddly panda bag (L) that I can hardly put it down!
    I believe it is a GREAT find for every panda fanatic!

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